Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize