why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
