All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
handjob tips. give me some.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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