me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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