after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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