Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
they're like a gay fantastic four
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
