And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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