Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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