at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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