also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
