i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
