apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Bring me that man meat
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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