Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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