i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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