I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
