dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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