So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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