Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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