if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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