can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Your cock deserves a montage
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
