And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize