That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
