dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Randomize
