Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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