Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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