So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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