Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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