what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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