Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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