Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
