I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
he quoted the bible to break up with me
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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