My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize