i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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