And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
