Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize