barbara walters just said penis...
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
