I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
