we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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