I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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