I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
