i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
