I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize