remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I think my moral compass just broke
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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