i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
