I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Randomize
