last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
