I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize