too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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