Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
