The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
