im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
