If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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