I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
