Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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