whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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