You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
