im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
What a dumb baby whore.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
