it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
