: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
