bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
