I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
