We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
