sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
