How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
