absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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