You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
