CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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