I must be too annoying 4 u.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
