so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Do you remember whose house we're in?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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