TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
