party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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