buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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