and i looked up. we had an audience...
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I don't deserve a penis
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
