Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
