I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
He passed out mid-signature
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
