we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Randomize
