was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
