I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
