I seem to have left my pride at pride
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
