I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
