well most of my day revolves around power hour
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
