Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
