The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
