I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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