yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Can Purell be used as lube?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Randomize
